Lost in Love
by PSawyer2514
Summary: Peyton left for LA 4 years ago, and broke up with Lucas 3 years ago for no reason. They haven't spoken since. She has been back for 2 months and didn't tell Lucas. Lucas moved on to Lindsey, but when he sees Peyton again, everything changes.
1. Heartbeats

Lucas slammed the door closed behind him. He was so confused, about everything. But mostly Peyton. She was back. He saw her standing right in front of him. Well, actually across the street. She didn't seem to notice him, but he definitely saw her. He didn't understand his feelings. He was mad at Peyton. He had been ever since she broke up with him for no reason. But when he saw her again this night, he forgot about all that, and those anger feelings made place for feelings he hadn't felt in a long time. And it felt good. Better yet, it felt right. But it wasn't suppose to feel right or good.. He was with Lindsey.  
Lindsey. He didn't even notice her sitting on his bed. She didn't face him, but he could tell that there was something bothering her. He figured that she was bothered with the fact that he left three hours ago because they had a fight, and he didn't even call her to tell her that he was okay.

'Linds?' He stroke her hair and sat down next to her.  
For the first time since he came in, she looked at him. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but she wasn't sad. There was a sparkle in her eyes, and she seemed nervous for some reason.  
'Lindsey, what's wrong?'  
'Nothing, Lucas', she smiled. 'I thought there was, but there's not.'  
'Are you sure, because I feel really bad about what happened tonight. I should have called you.'  
'I was so angry with you. Because this fight that we had tonight, it hurt me so much. But the fact that you didn't even seem to care that I was worried about you while you were away, hurt me even more.'  
'I'm sorry, Lindsey. I didn't mean to hurt you.'  
'I know you didn't. But you know what's strange? I was so mad at you, and I realised that I could only be mad if I loved you. You know?'  
'Not really', he said carefully.  
Suddenly Lindsey smiled and took his hands.  
'I was mad because I thought that I was going to lose you tonight. And I realised that I didn't want to. I never want to lose you.'  
'Lindsey, please..'  
'Let me finish. I love you, Lucas Scott. And I love us together, and I don't want it any other way.' She smiled and looked into his beautiful eyes. 'And I know this isn't how it usually goes, but I'm doing it anyway.'  
Lucas watched how she got down on one knee, and was shocked. He didn't want this to happen. Not tonight. Not with Lindsey. Before tonight he wanted this with Lindsey, yes, but not anymore.  
'Lucas Scott, will you please marry me?'  
But she did it anyway. And he couldn't prevent it from happening. He had to hurt yet another woman he once loved.

'Lindsey..' He sighed and looked away. But even then he felt how much she wanted this, them. And how much courage it took her to ask this. And now, in only one minute, he was going to break her heart.  
'You are a beautiful woman, and you have so much to offer. And there is a man who loves you and wants to marry you. But I would be lying if I said that the man I was talking about is me. And I know that sounded terrible, and I'm sorry. But I am not the guy for you, Lindsey.'

She stared at him. She wasn't able to say anything, because it hurt her too much to speak. But after a few minutes she got up, and frustrated as she was, she started to cry and scream at the same time.  
'What do you mean, Lucas? Before tonight we were okay. This fight isn't worth breaking up for!'  
'It's not because of this fight, Lindsey. Or.. maybe it is. I don't know.'  
'Then what is it?' she cried.  
'Lindsey, please..'  
'Let me guess. Peyton Sawyer.'  
Now it was Lucas' turn to be surprised. How did she know that he was thinking about Peyton.  
'What, How-'  
'I know she's back.'  
What! She knew that Peyton was back, and she didn't even bother telling him.  
'How?' he only asked.  
'I saw her with Brooke and Haley about two months ago', Lindsey said and looked at him as if she didn't break major news to him.  
'What?! She has been back for two months! Why didn't you tell me?'  
'It didn't seem important. And I thought that if I told you, I would lose you that same minute.'  
'That's crazy!' he yelled.  
'No it's not!' she fired back. 'Because I was right, wasn't I? You saw her tonight, and now you're breaking up with me!'  
'Lindsey, please.'  
'It's the truth, right? You love Peyton. More than you love me.'  
'It's not like that.'  
'Then what is it like, Luke?'  
'I have to know why she's back. I have to know why she hid herself from me. I am still mad at her, Lindsey. You have to understand that. But I just have to know why she's back', he said and tried to make more excuses.  
'So find that out, and then come back to me.'  
'Lindsey, please..'  
He lost count of how many times he had said it in these fifteen minutes, but it was the only thing he could say.  
'Lucas she left you! But I'm the one that stayed with you! After high school she left you, she broke up with you!'  
Lucas turned away when he heard Lindsey say that. He had heard that so many times. Peyton broke up with him, he knew that! She didn't have to rub it in.  
'I am the one who's here with you now.'  
'Now you are!' Lucas started to get just as angry as Lindsey was.  
'I'm sorry, Lindsey, but you haven't been with me always. Peyton was there when Keith died. Peyton was there when Lily was born, and Peyton was there when my dreams came true.'  
'What do you mean? I was here with you when your book was published. I am the one that made sure your book would get published.'  
'I know, and I love you for that. But I once told someone what my dreams were, and I had two. My first dream was to play basketball, and my second was that book.'  
'But you don't play basketball, Lucas. You are a writer.'  
'And I love writing, I really do. But I would give up everything if I could play ball again. But anyway, that's not the point.'  
'No, the point is that you love Peyton.' She turned around and started throwing things through the room, at Lucas.  
'I am so stupid!'  
'Lindsey, please. You are not stupid.'  
'Yes, I am! Because I wanted you loved me. ME! But deep down I knew that you loved Peyton. I can't compete with her. And I knew that. That's why I kept my mouth shut about her being back. And I could ignore Peyton. Because she doesn't know who I am. But I couldn't ignore your feelings for her, it was - is so obvious! But still I asked you to marry me! You let me make a fool of myself!'  
'I'm sorry, Lindsey. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you. But you have to know something: I love you. I really do. But I can't give you what you deserve. I can't give you my heart. Because somebody else already has it.'  
He was surprised by what he said. For three years he had been denying that Peyton Sawyer was a huge part of his life. And now he said it, out loud.  
He looked at Lindsey and realised that no matter what he would say, it wouldn't make this situation any better.  
'Believe me when I say that there is a man out there who will make you happy and..'  
'Don't do this! Do try to sweet talk me! You are wrong, and you know it! But don't worry, I will pack my bags and leave if that is what you want.'  
'I'm sorry.'  
'Stop apologizing. It won't make things any better. And besides, I don't want to hear it. So please Lucas, go. I don't care where you will go to, but just get out of here. And when you come back, I won't be here anymore.'  
'Lindsey, don't do this. Can't we just talk about this?' he pleaded.  
'What's there to talk about. We already said everything we wanted to say. It's clear you don't want me anymore. And without you, I don't have any reason to stay here.'  
Lucas layed his hand on her shoulder, but she pulled back.  
'Goodbye, Luke.' While she said that, it was as if her heart was being ripped out and stomped on. Her heart broke into a million pieces.  
Lucas left, but only because she wanted him to. It didn't feel right to him to leave her behind like that. He felt like they didn't talk it out, and that they should. But even then she wouldn't understand, hell he barely understood it himself! He was still furious with Peyton, and he didn't want to be in love with her. He wanted to hate her, and he didn't want to talk to her, ever again. But on the other hand he couldn't keep away from her.

* * *

He got into his car and drove away from his own house, not knowing where he was going. For an hour or so he drove around in Tree Hill, but then ended up in front of Peyton's house. He expected her to be there, but she wasn't. Then he stepped into his car again, and drove to Brooke's place.  
Brooke was at home, he saw her car standing there. So he got out of his car and knocked on the door. Nobody opened it. He started to slam the door, until Brooke opened it.  
'Lucas, what are you doing? It's after midnight!'  
'Where is she?' Lucas said fierce.  
'Where is who?'  
'Peyton? Where is Peyton?'  
'Lucas, what are you talking about? Peyton is in LA.'  
Lucas shook his head and couldn't believe that Brooke was standing right in front of him, and she was lying about it to his face.  
'Don't even try to deny it, Brooke! I saw her today! And she's not at home, so she must be here! Where is she?' he asked again. He got angrier by the minute.  
After keeping her mouth shut, and realising that she couldn't deny it anymore she said: 'Okay.. she's back. But she's not here.'  
'Then were is she Brooke? I need to talk to her.'  
'Don't you get it? She told everyone in this town to not tell you that she's back. She doesn't want to talk to you, Lucas.'  
'Brooke, you're treating me like I'm the bad guy. She dumped me, not the other way around, remember?'  
'I know, and she still didn't tell me why she did that. But she made it pretty clear that she didn't want to talk to you.'  
'Brooke, you hid her from me for two months. You owe it to me to tell me where she is.'  
Lucas's face changed. He was no longer angry with her for keeping Peyton from him, but he was begging her to tell him where she was. He didn't want to go to her to yell at her. He really wanted to see her. And Brooke wanted to tell him where she was. Even if it was only to get to know why she broke up with him. Because Peyton still didn't tell anybody why she did it. As a matter of fact, Peyton was keeping herself pretty quiet since she came back. She only spoke about LA, and nothing else.  
Ultimately she gave in and told Lucas that she was staying at Haley and Nathan's place.  
She wanted to explain why she wasn't staying with her, but Lucas didn't want her explanation. He turned around and got into his car again. His heart was racing and he couldn't focus on the road. Normally it didn't take long to get to Haley and Nathan. But this time it took him half an hour. And when he finally got there, he stayed in his car a few minutes longer. But then he found the courage to knock on the door. At first he managed it to stay calm, but when Haley opened the door and smiled at him as if nothing was wrong, he exploded again.  
'I know she's here, Haley. So don't try to deny it anymore. Where is she?'  
'Whoa, calm down Luke. What's going on? And where is who?'  
'I've just been at Brooke's house and she told me that Peyton was here.'  
Haley sighed and closed her eyes.  
'I'm sorry, Lucas.'  
'I don't want your apologies. Where is she!' Lucas yelled.  
Nathan, who had kept himself quiet, now intervened.  
'Stop it, Lucas! You're acting like an idiot!'  
'I'm the idiot?' he shook his head and raised his voice. 'You both kept it a secret, and now you still don't want to tell me where she is? Even though Brooke just told me she is here? And I'm the idiot?'  
He looked for her in the kitchen, the living room and even outside. When he wanted to walk up the stairs and go see if Peyton was there, Nathan stretched his hands in front of it.  
'Lucas, stop!'  
'Is she there?'  
'She is sleeping. In case you haven't notice, it's past midnight.'  
'I need to talk to Peyton.'  
'And you can, but not tonight', Nathan said calm. 'I will tell her that you have been here, and that you know that she's back. I will tell her that you want to talk to her, and I'll convince her that you have the right to talk to her. Tomorrow. Not tonight.'  
Lucas just stood there and didn't say a thing. He felt stupid for coming here tonight. He should have waited until tomorrow.  
'Go home to Lindsey and get some sleep', Haley tried.  
Lucas walked to the couch and sat down. He rubbed his arms, and looked at the floor.  
'I broke up with her. She's gone.'  
'What? Why?' they both asked shocked.  
'I don't know! She proposed to me, and all of the sudden I realised that Lindsey was not right for me. And so I said no. Well actually I said that I wasn't right for her, and that it was better if she would go.'  
He didn't tell them that he broke up with her because of Peyton. They didn't have to know that.  
'I'm really sorry, Lucas. Now I understand why you're so upset. But maybe you need a good night sleep. And then tomorrow, when you feel better, you can talk to Peyton', Haley suggested. 'So go home, Lucas. And please be careful when you drive home.'  
Lucas understood why she said that. He was still angry, and he would probably not focus on the road and cause a huge accident. So Haley calmed him down before he went home.

Haley walked back inside after she made sure Lucas got home safe. She looked at her husband and sighed.  
'Things got way out of hand, Nathan. I knew it was wrong that we didn't tell him. And I knew Lucas would end up getting hurt. But I didn't expect that he would break up with Lindsey.'  
'Do you think he broke up with Lindsey because of Peyton?'  
Haley shrugged. 'I don't know. I used to be so good at reading Lucas, but now I can't anymore. I don't know what's going on inside his head. But I wouldn't be surprised if he broke up with Lindsey over her.'  
Haley looked up, as if she looked through the ceiling at the room where Peyton slept.  
'Is she still sleeping?' Haley asked worried.  
'Yeah. I checked up on her and she's fast asleep. I'm glad she didn't hear Lucas yelling.'  
Haley nodded and let herself fall on the couch, into Nathan's arms.

But what they didn't know was that Peyton wasn't asleep at all. When she heard that someone was coming up the stairs, she pretended to sleep, so that she didn't have to talk to anyone. And so that no one had to see her tears. She heard Lucas, loud and clear. And it broke her heart. Just like it did when she saw him this night.

**Flashback  
**_It was good being outside, Peyton thought to herself. She hadn't been outside much because she was busy trying to avoid Lucas. She had been back for over two months and still she was not ready to face Lucas. It was hard staying inside, even though Haley and Nathan's house was big enough to stay inside there all week. She was glad that she wasn't at Brooke's place. Not only because that house wasn't nearly as big as Nathan's, but also because Owen was there almost day and night. Brooke and Owen hadn't been together that long and she didn't want to be in their way. That's why she asked Haley if she could stay there, and asked her if she wanted to keep her mouth shut to Lucas.  
But now she was outside, she regretted that. Because she was now forced to stay inside for the most part of the day. She knew that if she would go out in broad daylight, she would bump into Lucas eventually. That's why she waited untill it was after ten o'clock pm._

_She looked up and stared at the stars in the sky. But when she wanted to cross the road, she saw him standing there. Lucas Scott. They guy she had been avoiding. He didn't see her, and that was a good thing. And when she looked at him, old feelings started to come back. But at the same time her heart broke, and she felt a stinging pain. The pain of knowing that they weren't together anymore. She looked around and ran to a place where could stand sheltered. But she still looked at him. Lucas didn't change one bit. Maybe he grew a little beard, but everything else was still the same. And that was the thing that was making her feel miserable. She hoped that he would have gain a few pounds and would be really ugly, but deep down she knew that that was never going to happen. Lucas was still the guy she fell in love with. Still the guy she told four years ago she would never leave him. He was still the guy who told her he would wait for her when she came back LA. She felt her eyes welling up, and before it would get worse, she ran away, so Lucas wouldn't see her._

_The minute she got home, she ran upstairs. Haley and Nathan were asleep, so she didn't have to explain why she was crying. She let herself fall on the bed, and cried herself to sleep.  
She wished that she could sleep. The one thing that kept her from sleeping was Lucas, and that feeling she got when she saw him standing there.  
Ultimately she fell asleep because she was so tired. But Lucas' voice woke her up again. He was here, and he was asking for her. She figured that he must've seen her. He yelled that he wanted to talk to her, but then Nathan said something she couldn't really hear, and then Haley told him to go home.  
_**End Flashback  
**  
And now she was lying here, wide awake. She wished she could lie here all day and that she didn't have to face anyone the next day. Because she knew that she was going to have to talk about him.  
With those thoughts she fell asleep again.

When she woke up the next day, she knew that it would be a horrible day. But she couldn't avoid it any longer, so she got out of bed, dressed herself and walked down the stairs. To the kitchen, where Haley, Nathan and Jamie were having breakfast.  
'Hey, sweetie', Haley said and smiled. 'I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but we didn't want to wake you.'  
'Oh that's okay. I'm not really that hungry anyway.'  
Haley smiled again and looked at Nathan and Jamie.  
'Okay, buddy', she said to Jamie, 'let's go, you're gonna be late for school.'  
'Do I really have to go?' Jamie asked.  
Peyton smiled while the little boy continued to beg his mother that he wouldn't have to go to school.  
'I could stay here with auntie Peyton and eat ice creams? Please?'  
Peyton walked up to him. 'You know what? After you've been to school, I will eat ice creams with you for the rest of the day. But then you have to go to school now.'  
'Promise?'  
'Promise.'  
'Pinky swear?' Jamie asked.  
Peyton laughed and shook his pink with hers. 'Pinky swear.'  
Now Jamie couldn't wait to get to school.

'Thank you', Nathan said laughing when Haley and Jamie were gone.  
'No problem. I would love to take him out later.'  
'Are you sure? You might bump into Lucas.'  
'That's no longer a problem, is it? He already knows I am back.'  
Nathan sighed. 'You heard him last night, didn't you.'  
Peyton nodded. 'It's okay, though. It's not your fault. I should've seen it coming.'  
'He asked if you would talk to him today. Well, actually he demanded it.'  
'Yeah, I heard that.'  
'You think you're up for that? You don't have to if you don't want to. I can go and tell Lucas that you don't want to talk to him.'  
'Bet he would like that', Peyton joked.  
'Doesn't matter. It's about what you want.'  
Peyton didn't say anything, but Nathan waited patiently for her to tell him that she didn't want to go.  
'I really appreciate it that you are so protective over me, Nate. But I think it's time that I face my fears and go talk to Lucas.'  
Nathan nodded. 'He's probably at the Rivercourt. Good luck.'  
'Thank you.' She stood up and hugged him. 'You are a really good friend, Nate.'  
Nathan smiled. 'You deserve it', he said and watched her walk trough the door. He was glad that she decided to meet up with Lucas. She had to face him eventually. And it was about time that everyone found out why Peyton broke up with Lucas. Including Lucas.


	2. Facing up to you

Peyton stopped her car when she arrived at the Rivercourt. It had been a long time since she was here. Lucas obviously didn't notice her or the car, because he didn't look up from his ball. She got out of her car and looked around. Rivercourt felt so safe, and so familiar. But yet she felt so insecure when she walked towards Lucas. She was afraid for how he would react when he saw her. Sure, he saw her yesterday. But they didn't actually talk.  
'Nathan told me I could probably find you here', Peyton said carefully when she stopped behind him.  
Lucas turned around, surprised to see her there. He didn't expect her to actually come to him. But when he saw her, he didn't know if he should be happy, be angry or maybe even burst into tears.  
'You're back', he only said. He acted like he didn't already know that she was back. But Peyton knew better.  
'You saw me last night, Luke. I know you did, because you barged into Haley's house and started to yell like a crazy person.' 'Can you blame me? You've been back for what, two months? And you somehow forgot to tell me? But hey, you didn't really forget, did you? Because you asked Brooke and Nathan and Haley and maybe even Jamie not to tell me that you were back.' 'Lucas, stop.'  
'No, Peyton. I want to know what's going on? Why are you back? Did your new boyfriend dump you?'  
'What?' Peyton asked insulted. 'I - I don't have a boyfriend!' she said, but didn't know why she was explaning herself.  
'Then why are you back? Did you finally get the guts to come back and tell me why you broke up with me?'  
'Oh God, Luke. Stop acting like you don't know why!'  
'Peyton, you broke up with me, remember. And for no reason if I might add!'  
'Do you think I wanted to break up with you!'  
'You didn't seem to have any problems with it.'  
'Luke, please..'  
'The only thing I want to know is, why? I mean, you were coming back to Tree Hill for a few weeks to spend more time with me. And then, the day you were suppose to arrive you called and broke up with me. Over the phone! I really thought we meant more to you.'  
'I didn't want to make it any harder.'  
'For who? Me?'  
'No, for me! I didn't want to break up with you Lucas. But you really hurt me.'  
'I did what? No, you know what? I don't even want to hear it anymore.'  
He sighed and took a good look at her. He didn't want to be here anymore. He thought he wanted to hear why she came back, but she would probably lie to him.  
'I'm out of here.'

'I was here!' Peyton suddenly said.  
Lucas stopped. His feet told him to run away, but his heart told him to stay.  
'I was coming from the airport, and I wanted to surprise you. So I drove down to your house, hoping to see you there. You.. you were there. You were there with some woman.'  
'You mean Lindsey? She's my editor.'  
'She seemed more than that. Because when I was about to knock on your door, I saw her kissing you through the window.'  
Lucas wanted to say that they never kissed during the time that he and Peyton were together, but then he remembered that Lindsey did kiss him, but only to congratulate him on the publication of his novel.  
'It didn't mean anything, Peyton. I would never do that to you!'  
'Sure', she said, but was not convinced. 'Brooke told me that right after we broke up, you and that "Lindsey woman" got together.'  
'She's obviously lying, Peyton. I could never move on that fast. I loved you too much.'  
'Oh Luke, cut the crap! Tell me, when did you and Lindsey get together?!' she asked, now furious.  
'Three years ago. Right after the publication of my book. Why?'  
'And tell me, when did I broke up with you?'  
Lucas sighed and stared at his ball. 'Right after the publication of my book.'  
'See, you didn't really need that much time to get over me. Admit it, you were just waiting for me to break up with you, so you didn't have to feel bad!'  
'What are you talking about? God, you are so delusional!'  
'And you are.. unbelievable! You don't even have the guts to tell me you didn't want me anymore!' Peyton shouted and turned away. She didn't want Lucas to see her cry. Never in her life she thought that Lucas would change so much. Not on the outside, but on the inside. Lucas hurt her so much and he wasn't even man enough to admit it. Then she looked at him and realised that she saw nothing she recognized. The man he used to be would own up to his mistakes, but not the Lucas she was faced with today.  
'I can see why your relationships never work out', Lucas suddenly said. 'You are always looking for a reason to dump someone. Because you are _so_ afraid to commit.'  
He stared at her. She was crying and her eyes begged him to stop. But he didn't stop, he was just getting started.  
'People always leave, right?' He shook his head. 'They don't want to, Peyton. But you - you drive them away. You force them to leave!'  
Peyton couldn't hold herself any longer. She looked up, looked into his eyes and slapped him in his face.  
Without saying anything else, she turned around and ran away.

After Peyton was gone, Lucas sat down at the bleachers. His face hurt so much, but he deserved it. Why did he say those things to Peyton? He didn't mean them at all. He was just looking for the right words to hurt her the way she hurt him. And he knew that by saying this he would hurt her even more. He felt like such an asshole.  
But still, he never cheated on Peyton. He didn't know what Peyton saw exactly, but if she looked more closely she would've seen that it was a friendly kiss, and that he didn't kiss her back. But she wouldn't believe it if he told her that. He had to apologize to her, and maybe even then she wouldn't even forgive him. He messed up.

* * *

Peyton needed to get away from there. She knew it was a mistake coming there, facing up to Lucas. But she hoped that maybe he would admit being wrong. That he would apologize for what he did. But he did the exact opposite. He hurt her even worse. Lucas not loving her, she would get over that eventually. But the way he talked to her, the things he said to her, she would never get over that. He knew exactly what he was doing when he said that, because he'd known her long enough to know that _that_ was her one insecurity; afraid of not being good enough to make people stay with her. Never once in her life anyone said it to her. At least, if you would count out her version of the angel of death/her subconscious. But that didn't bother her, because she knew that it was only inside her head. And even though she knew that Lucas only said it to hurt her and that he probably didn't even mean it, it hurt her more than anything else.

On her way home she dropped by at Clothes over Bro's, knowing that Brooke was there, and that she could tell everything to her. But when she got out of her car she saw that Owen was there, too. And that they were on their way out. She wanted to turn around and disappear, but it was too late. Brooke already saw her.  
'Peyton, what are you doing here? I thought you were at Haley's house. I mean, you said you didn't want to go outside in broad daylight because you were avoiding Lucas.'  
Peyton quickly dried her tears and turned around.  
'Yeah well, I can't hide forever', she said and tried to sound as cheerful as possible.  
'Are you okay?' Brooke asked concerned when she saw Peyton's puffy, red eyes.  
'Why wouldn't I be?'  
Brooke shrugged. 'Um.. Did you want to talk to me?'  
'No, no.. I - I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me and Jamie and eat some ice creams', she lied. 'But I see you have plans, so I'm gonna go.'  
She turned around and drove away. She waited until she saw that Owen and Brooke were gone and then parked her car alongside the road. She started to cry and let her head fall in her hands.

'That was weird', Owen said to Brooke.  
'Yeah', she said and looked over her shoulder to see if she could still see Peyton.  
'What's wrong?' Owen asked when he saw her worried face.  
'I don't know. Something is not right. Didn't you see her face?'  
'She looked.. different. Maybe she was tired.'  
'Maybe. But I think it has something to do with Lucas.'  
'What do you mean?' he asked curious.  
'Lucas came over last night and almost forced it out of me to tell him where Peyton was. And something tells me he found her.'  
'Is she okay?'  
Brooke shrugged. 'I have absolutely no idea how she's feeling. It's like the old Peyton is back. She is shutting me out.'  
She looked at Owen and the look on his face told her that he didn't understand.  
'She used to shut everyone out. She was so insecure and vulnerable.'  
'She did that with you, too?'  
'No, never. That's what's so strange. And she never did it with Haley, either. Maybe at first when she didn't really know her. Anyway, ever since she came back from LA she's been acting so strange. For instance, she didn't even tell me why she broke up with Lucas. I used to be the first one to know, after Lucas of course .'  
'Maybe she's embarresed.'  
'Owen, I've known her for years and I know when she's embarrassed. And trust me, that's not it. Ever since she broke up with Lucas she has been so miserable, and that doesn't make any sense.'  
'Why not? You told me they had a very strong and solid relationship. It makes all the sense in the world that she needs time to get over it.'  
'Okay, I get that. But she acts like Lucas was one that broke up with _her, _you know?Like he did something really bad, or something.'  
'Maybe he did. Have you tried talking to her about it.'  
'A million times, but she keeps changing the subject. And I don't know what to do anymore.'  
'I think you just need to be there for her. And when she is ready to talk to you, she will. I don't think you need to push her. Okay?'  
Brooke nodded and hugged him.  
'You are the best boyfriend, you know that?'  
Owen laughed and said: 'So I've been told.' He looked down at her lifted her cheek so he could kiss her.

For another hour longer Brooke pretended to be okay, to not be worried about her best friend. But she couldn't help it. Peyton was her best friend, and obviously she needed help. And that's why Brooke didn't understand why Peyton kept shutting her out.  
Owen noticed Brooke worrying and let go of her hand. 'You can't do it, can you', he asked laughing.  
'God, I'm so sorry. I am the worst girlfriend.'  
'No, you are not', he laughed. 'And you are probably the best 'best friend' ever. Peyton is lucky to have you. But you need to stop worrying, okay. What good does it do Peyton when you come to her and you are even more messed up then she is.'  
Brooke chuckled and looked up.  
'I just wish that there was something I could do, y'know?'  
'Okay, I'll tell you what. We will go home, we'll try to relax. And if that doesn't work, then you can go to Peyton. But I'm pretty sure that she's going home now to talk to Haley. So don't worry.'  
Brooke nodded and kissed him. 'I love you.'  
Owen smiled and looked at her. 'Did you just say that you loved me?'  
'No I certainly did not', she said and looked away. She never said that to him before. She didn't even know that she felt like that about him. But it felt good saying it. She looked back at him and waited for him to say something back to her.  
He laughed and looked into her eyes. 'I love you, too.'

Peyton pulled the front door open and barged into the living room. She did not see that Jamie and Nathan were there waiting for her.  
'Are you okay?' Jamie asked.  
'Jezus!' She looked at Jamie. 'You startled me, buddy.'  
'Sorry, Peyton', Nathan said. 'We were waiting for you.'  
'Yeah, we were gonna go eat ice creams together, remember?' Jamie said.  
Nathan looked at Peyton and could she that she was not in the mood to eat ice creams. Then he turned to Jamie and said: 'I think auntie Peyton is really busy at the time. Maybe some other time, okay?'  
'But she promised!' Jamie said.  
'It's okay, Nate.' She smiled lightly. 'I "pinky promised" him.'  
Nathan looked at Jamie and then at Peyton, and hesitated. 'Can I talk to you, Peyton?' he said then.  
She sighed, and even though she didn't want to talk to Nathan, she walked with him to the kitchen.  
'What's up?' she asked and acted like nothing was wrong.  
'Okay, you can drop the act now. What happened?'  
Peyton stared at the floor. 'Nothing.'  
'What did he do, Peyton?'  
'Nothing!'  
'What did he do?!'  
Peyton sat down at the kitchen table and avoided eye-contact. For a long time she didn't say anything, but then she couldn't hold herself any longer and the tears started to come. She started to tell him the whole story, and left nothing out of it. Nathan just listened. She forgot how good of a friend Nathan was. He didn't say anything, he just listened to her. He didn't interrupt her every five seconds, like Brooke or Haley.  
'So.. Now you know the whole story', she said after she finished. But apparently she was wrong about how she thought Nathan's reaction would be, because he stood up and yelled: 'I'm gonna kill him!'  
But she stopped him before he could do anything stupid.  
'Leave it! Please? I don't want to make a big deal out of this, okay? I will just go out with Jamie and you and I will _both_act like nothing happened, okay?'  
'But Peyton, you can't let him get away with this.'  
'It's not your fight, Nathan. Leave it.'  
After a few minutes, after Peyton talked some sense into him, Jamie walked into the kitchen.  
'Are we still going?' he asked.  
'Definitely. So get your coat, and let's go.'

Nathan still sat at the kitchen table when Peyton and Jamie were gone. He considered to go to Lucas, but he promised Peyton that he would leave it alone. But there was no way that he would let Lucas get away with what he said. Especially after he told Lucas to take it easy on her the night before. So in spite of that Peyton had begged him to leave it alone, he still decided to pay Lucas a visit.

When he got there he didn't even bother to knock on the door and just walked into his house. He looked around, but Lucas was nowhere to be found.  
'Luke? I know you are here!'  
Lucas walked into the living room , and looked at his little brother. He wasn't surprised to see him at all.  
'Did Peyton send you? She can't do anything on her own, can she?'  
There, he did it again. He said another thing about Peyton that he didn't want to say. It's like he didn't control himself.  
Nathan shook his head, waited a second, but then pushed him against the wall.  
'You need to shut up, Lucas! Just.. shut up!'  
Then he let Lucas go and turned away.  
'I know. Believe me, I know. But I can't help it, okay?'  
'What do you mean? You know that you are hurting her, and still you keep on doing it. You are unbelievable.'  
'Okay, I don't know what she told you, but I never cheated on her with Lindsey!'  
'I don't know, Lucas. At first I didn't think you were capable of doing it, but then Peyton told me what you said to her. I mean, have you lost your mind?!'  
'I know! I didn't want to say it, but I just blurt it out!'  
Nathan didn't react, and looked at Lucas. He was a mess. And it looked like not only Nathan was beating him up over this, but Lucas himself too. He still didn't approve Lucas' behaviour towards Peyton, but Nathan could she that he had regrets.  
'You messed up Lucas', Nathan said at last.  
Lucas sighed and sat down. 'I know, and I don't know how to fix it. Did she say anything to you?'  
'She told me that she was hurt and that she didn't know if she could ever trust you again.'  
Lucas groaned. 'I didn't mean it. I swear.'  
'Oh, she knows that, but still...'  
'I hurt her feelings, bad.'  
'Yep..'  
'God, Nathan. How did things get so messed up!'  
'Things, or you and Peyton.'  
'Everything! She is so sure that I kissed Lindsey while we were together, but I would never do that to her. Come on Nate, you saw me when she broke up with me. I was a mess.'  
'You still are. Look, if you want my advice; just go talk to her and apologize.'  
'Okay, have you listened to yourself?' Lucas said confused. 'She doesn't want my apologies.'  
'So she says! But you and I have both known her long enough to know that _that _is exactly what she wants. And it might not help, at first. But is a step in the good direction. But you will have to do more than that. You have got to earn her trust back.'  
'And how the hell am I suppose to do that!' he yelled frustrated.  
'I don't know. I don't know her like you do.'  
Lucas realised that his brother was right. He had to do something more than to say that he was sorry. That was just a stupid word that people used too much to get their fight over with. He had to guarantee Peyton that he did not have an affair with Lindsey, and that he still loved her. He had to fight for her, because he knew how hard it would be to earn her trust back.  
'You're right, I have to go talk to her', Lucas said eventually.  
'Not right now, you're not.'  
'But you just said-'  
'You did enough for today. You have to give her a chance to think this all over.'  
'Then when? Tomorrow, next week, next month?'  
'Whatever it takes.'  
'I don't want to wait that long, and anyway since when did you become the relationship expert?'  
'Since I didn't mess up as big as you did. So trust me when I tell you to leave her alone for a little while longer, okay?'  
Lucas rubbed his eyes and nodded. 'Whatever it takes, right?'  
Nathan laughed. 'Whatever it takes.'


	3. Author's Note

So I found that some of you couldn't really get into Peyton's reason for breaking up with Lucas, and I totally get it. But I wasn't focussing on her reason as much as I did on Lucas' reaction to her ridiculous reason. The story isn't really about her breaking up with Lucas. It's more about them finding their way back to each other, and everything that will happen in between. So I hope you can 'forgive' me..

And also I changed the way the story is formatted, because I noticed that it's not pleasant reading.

xoxo PSawyer2514


	4. Tell me what we're gonna do now

'Nathan, where have you been?' Haley asked when he came in. 'I've been looking everywhere for you.'  
'I was with Luke. I'm sorry.'  
Haley sat up and frowned.  
'What were you doing there?' she asked.  
Nathan looked around, as if he was looking for something. 'Is Peyton here?' he then asked.  
'Um, she's upstairs playing games with Jamie. Why?'  
Nathan walked over to the couch and sat down next to Haley, who was wondering why her husband was acting so mysteriously.  
'Okay, so this morning I told Peyton that Lucas was here. But she already knew, cuz she heard our entire conversation.'  
Haley sighed. 'Is she okay? She looks okay.'  
'I don't know. But anyway, she went to the Rivercourt to talk to Lucas. I tried to stop her, but she went anyway.'  
'By the look on your face I can tell that something went wrong.'  
'I don't know exactly what happend', he lied, 'but when she didn't look good when she came back. So I decided to ask Lucas what happened, and the only thing he told me was that he said some stupid things he wished he could take back.'  
'And you're sure you don't know what?'  
He shook his head dismally. 'I guess you have to ask Peyton herself.'  
Haley nodded and headed for the door.  
'Whoa! I didn't mean now!' Nathan said and went after her. 'Give her some time', he suggested. He never imagined that he would do all of this. It was usually Haley who would meddle and solve all the problems. But for the first time he felt how hard it was for her to have all of these problems weighing on her.  
Suddenly she pecked his lips.  
'What was that for?' he asked laughing.  
'For being such a good husband, brother and friend. I love you.'  
'I love you, too, Haley', he said and started to kiss her, what turned into a steamy make-out session.  
'Oh, okay - okay.. Wait!' Haley tried her best to get out from under his kisses, but the truth was that he was an excellent kisser and that she just couldn't resist him. But still she managed it to say something to him.  
'Okay, wait', she giggled. 'Peyton and Jamie are upstairs.'  
'So? I'll try to be very quiet.'  
Haley laughed as Nathan continued kissing her neck.

Peyton and Jamie were upstairs playing "guitar hero" when she heard strange noises downstairs.  
'Hey Jamie, I'm gonna go downstairs for a minute, but I will be right back. And when I get back, you have to go to sleep, okay? It's way passed your bedtime.'  
Jamie didn't even look up from his game, and Peyton was pretty sure he didn't hear what she said at all, but he nodded anyway.  
She was wondering what was going on, but when she opened the door she found something completely different from what she expected.  
'Oh God!' she cried out when she saw Nathan and Haley lying on the couch.  
Nathan jumped up and quickly pulled on his shirt. 'This is so embarrasing', he said. Haley got up, too and looked at Peyton who was laughing hysterically.  
'I'm sorry you had too see this, Peyton', she said.  
'Don't worry. I've seen worse.'  
'Thanks alot', Nathan said and playfully hit her on her shoulder.  
'No, but seriously. I'm sorry I walked into this. I really should get my own place again.'  
'Are you kidding? You are more than welcome here.'  
'Really? And what if I walk into something more.. private?'  
'On second thought', Nathan said, 'maybe that is a good idea.'  
'No, it's not!' Haley said quick. 'I mean, if you don't want to live here anymore, then I guess..'  
'No, that's not it. It's just that my dad is coming home the day after tomorrow, and I thought that it would be easier if I would move in with him again.'  
'That's great news, Peyton', Haley said cheerful. 'Is he coming back for good?'  
'I don't know. I haven't talked to him much lately. But he promised he would call me tomorrow.'  
'That is.. great, Peyton. I'm really happy for you.'  
'Thank you. But if you would excuse me; I'm gonna go upstairs and get some sleep.'  
'Sure, no problem. We'll just go on with what we were doing', Nathan said and winked.  
Peyton laughed. 'I bet you will.'  
Nathan waited for Peyton to be gone and then started kissing Haley again, but she pulled back.  
'What's wrong?' he asked confused.  
'I'm sorry, big guy. The moment's gone. Plus I'm pretty tired, too.'  
'You have got to be kidding me', Nathan said as if he didn't believe it.  
Haley chuckled. 'Nope, sorry.'  
Nathan realised that Haley wasn't joking and followed her to their bedroom.  
It didn't take Haley long before she got into bed, but Nathan checked on Jamie first and made sure he was fast asleep before he got to sleep.

Brooke woke up from the sun that was shining through her window. She looked beside her, but Owen wasn't there. There was, on the other hand, a little note with his handwriting on it.  
_'I'm really sorry I have to leave you like this, but I had to get to work. I didn't want to wake, because after last night I thought you could use a good night rest.  
Good luck with Peyton today, and don't worry too much.  
I love you, and I will see you tonight.'  
_A smile appeared on her face while she read the last sentence. _'I love you and I will see you tonight.' _he said and he really meant it. Her day couldn't get any better. But then she remembered what happened last night with Owen. The plan was that they would have a romantic evening, but instead she kept on talking about Peyton.  
She groaned and got out of bed. She really was the worst girlfriend you could possibly imagine. She decided that when Owen dropped by tonight, she would treat him much better. But first she had to go to Peyton.  
She took a shower, and even though she really liked it, it didn't take longer than five minutes. She felt like she couldn't do anything properly before she had talked to Peyton.  
So as soon as she got ready, she headed out. But when she opened the door, she found Haley staring at her.  
'Wow, how did you know I was here? I didn't even knock.'  
'I didn't', Brooke said, she was just as surprised as Haley. 'I was on my way to Peyton actually, so if..'  
'Good, because I need to talk to you about her. Any chance you could wait a few minutes?'  
Brooke hesitated, because she really wanted to talk to Peyton. But then she saw the worried look that was on Haley's face and she changed her mind and let her in.  
'Okay, what's up?' she asked and they sat down. 'What did you want to talk to me about?'  
'Peyton.. and Lucas.'  
'Oh, right. I'm so sorry. But he was begging me to tell him, and you know that you can't resist his puppy eyes. So it might have told him that she was with you. And I totally regret it now, because he probably acted stupid and angry, like he did with me..'  
'Brooke, shut up.'  
'You didn't have like a huge fight, did you?'  
'No, Brooke. We're fine.'  
'So, then what's wrong?'  
Haley smiled. 'As I've been trying to tell you, Peyton is not doing OK.'  
Brooke chuckled. 'Keen observation, genius. I was on my way to ask her what was going on, so if you don't mind?' She stood up and was ready to walk away, but then Haley said: 'Maybe I know what's going on?'  
Brooke stopped, sat down and waited patiently for Haley's story.  
'Okay, so, something happened with her and Lucas. The morning after Lucas came to us and "asked" for Peyton, she went to the Rivercourt to talk to him. And Lucas totally messed it up. So typical, he gets one chance, and then he screws it up!'  
'Okay, calm down. What happened?'  
'I don't know. I only know that Lucas said some stupid things and Peyton ran away. Crying.'  
'How-'  
'Nathan. But that's all I know. And I would have talked to her already if I didn't think that you wanted to talk to her, too.'  
Brooke smiled.  
'And because I realised that she would never open up to me unless you were there, too', she added. 'And if she still doesn't speak, then we can always try to choke it out of her', she joked.  
Brooke chuckled. 'I like the way you think, TutorWife. Let's go.'

When Haley said that they should go talk to Peyton, she forgot about the fact that Peyton was living in her house. Which actually made it easier for them. Peyton would never open the door if she saw that Haley and Brooke stood there. But now she didn't even have to. Haley did it for her.  
'Is she even here?' Brooke asked, who was already sorry that she was there.  
'She told me she wasn't going nowhere. So hurry up.'  
Brooke nodded and walked further up the stairs. With every step she took she got more sorry. It felt wrong sneaking up behind Peyton's back. But Brooke _had _to know why Peyton was acting so ridiculous. And she had no choice but to talk to them, because she was going to face up to the facts.  
Haley carefully knocked on Peyton's door, but nobody answered. Haley wanted to knock again, but Brooke beat her to it, and opened the door. She found Peyton behind her computer talking to someone she didn't recoginze until she looked more closely.  
'Mr Sawyer!' she screamed enthusiastic.  
Peyton turned around and was surprised to find her two best friends, and so was Larry Sawyer.  
'Brooke Davis and Haley James Scott. Long time no see.'  
'Right back at ya.. sir.'  
Larry started laughing. 'You don't have to call me "sir" Brooke. You make me feel old.'  
'Oh, and he is definitely _not_ old', Peyton joked.  
'So um.. Peyton told me you were coming home next week', Haley said. 'Tha's great news.'  
'What? Nobody told me! That's fantastic news. How long will you be staying', Brooke asked.  
'I don't know yet. The plan was to look for a house with my gorgeous daughter.'  
Haley looked at Peyton. 'You're really doing it. You're moving out.'  
She nodded. 'I just want to give you guys the privacy you deserve. Plus my dad isn't really good at being alone.'  
'Hey, hey! Don't talk about your old man like that!' Larry said and laughed.  
'I'm _so so so _sorry. I really am. Truly, deeply sorry', Peyton said and smiled innocent. 'And I will make it up to you when you get back. Speaking of, where are you now?'  
'I'm still on the boat. But we could moor any second now. Then I have to take care of some stuff and that will take a day or two, maybe three. But after that I will take the first bus home, which can probably take two days. So you can pick me up mondaymorning around nine.'  
'Okay, great. See you then. I'm gonna go now. I love you.'  
'I love you, too, sweetheart.'  
'Bye mr. Sawyer', Brooke and Haley said at the same time.  
Larry waved them goodbye and then logged off.

Peyton turned to her friends and her face was completely glowing. 'So, what brings you here?'  
Brooke and Haley looked at each other, and Haley thought to herself that their timing couldn't be more off. Peyton was so happy that her father was coming home, but now they would destroy her happiness by starting to her about Lucas.  
'Um.. Nathan talked to Lucas', Haley said cautiously.  
Peyton sighed and let her head sink in her hands.  
'You don't know how sorry we are for bringing this up, and especially right now',Brooke said. 'But we love you and we hate to see you miserable.'  
'It's okay, you were bound to find out eventually. So what did he tell you?' she asked and looked at Haley.  
'Not much unfortunately. But we want to know why _you_ didn't tell us anything.'  
'Because! Because I was so thankful that I could crash at your place that I didn't want to burden you. And Brooke, you were so excited about getting together with Owen.'  
'Come on, Peyton. We are your best friends, you should've told us.'  
'I know.'  
'So now you can tell us what happened.'  
'Do I really have to?'  
'Peyton!'  
'Okay, okay, calm down.' Peyton took a deep breath and then started talking. 'Remember when Lucas asked me to come home for a few days?'  
They both nodded.  
'I did. But when I came home I found Lucas and Lindsey kissing.'  
'What? You did not!' Haley contradicted.  
'I'm serious! Well at least, she kissed him. But Lucas claims that he didn't kiss her back.'  
'And you don't believe him?'  
'No, of course not! Guys, I know what I saw!'  
Brooke looked at Haley and then back at Peyton. 'What exactly did you see, sweetie?'  
'I well, I didn't get a good view at it, but I saw that she kissed him, on his mouth. And Lucas let her!'  
'And that's the reason you broke up with him?' Haley asked. 'Oh, Peyton. You made a huge mistake.'  
'What do you mean?' she asked confused.  
'Lindsey did not kiss him, well yeah she did, but she was only congratulating him. You know, his book got published.'  
'How do you know?'  
'Because Lucas told Nathan about the kiss, maybe five minutes before you called him, and he told Nathan how guilty he felt about it.'  
'And he told Nathan that it was only to congratulate him?'  
Haley nodded.  
'Are you sure?'  
She nodded again.  
Peyton stared at Brooke, who was also nodding.  
'I'm such an idiot! I totally made a fool out of myself with Lucas yesterday. But I was so sure I was right!'  
'Now we can understand why you were feeling so miserable. You didn't want to break up with him, but you felt like you didn't have a choice. But it's okay, though, now you know that, you can make it up', Brooke suggested.  
'No, we can't.'  
'Why not? Peyton, he didn't cheat on you.'  
'I know, but he said some things you can't justify.'  
'What things?' Haley asked confused.  
Peyton started telling them that she went to the Rivercourt and accused him of cheating.  
'I told him that he wasn't man enough to tell me he didn't want me anymore, and then he said that our relationship didn't work out because I was afraid to commit.' She swallowed and continued. 'He said that I was the reason people always left. Because I drove them away, I forced him.'  
'He said that?' Haley asked, who couldn't believe it.  
'I was right there. He really said it!'  
He knows that he can't say that to you', Haley said. 'It doesn't sound like Lucas.'  
'Maybe not like the Lucas we know, but maybe the Lucas who got really hurt by Peyton. And he probably just wanted to hurt Peyton just as bad. I'm sorry, Peyton. But we can't help you with this one. You're gonna have to talk to Lucas.'  
Peyton groaned. 'I know..'  
Haley smiled and squeezed her hand. 'You'll be fine. Just talk to him.'  
Peyton stood up and let them out. 'I'm really glad I could talk to you about this. Thank you.'  
'No problem. And the next time you're dealing with something, just tell us. That's what friends are for.'

* * *

Three days had gone by and Peyton came back from house hunting, again with no luck. When she walked into the livingroom of Haley's house, Lucas was there, along with Nathan and Haley, waiting for her. She still hadn't talked to him.  
'I'm gonna go upstairs.?'  
'Wait, Peyton!' Lucas followed her up the stairs to her room, and barged into her room. 'Peyton, we need to talk.'  
'Tell me about it', she mumbled.  
'I am so sorry. Well not about the cheating part, because I swear I didn't do that, but-'  
'You don't have to. I know you didn't do it.'  
'You do?'  
'Brooke and Haley stopped by and told me about the kiss. I'm sorry I didn't believe you.'  
'You are?'  
'Yes, but that doesn't mean I forgave you.'  
'I know. I was a jerk to you. I didn't mean to say those things, but I had no control over it.'  
'Lucas, you were there, too. You could have stopped yourself from saying it.'  
'No, that's the problem. I couldn't. Peyton, you hurt me so bad three years ago, and when you came back I was confused, and still hurt, and I was just looking for the right words to hurt you back.'  
'Mission accomplished.'  
'I am sorry! I shouldn't have said it. It was wrong, and I am sorry.'  
'Do you really think that's gonna cut it?' she asked insulted. 'It will take a lot more then some stupid words.'  
'No, I know that isn't enough, by far. But it's the best I can do for you right now. I can make you all of these stupid promisses that I know I can't follow up, but I don't want to do that to you. A million words can not say, just how I feel. But know that I will fight for you and I will fight to earn your trust back. And that might take a while, but I'm willing to do that. Because I love you. I let you go the first time, and I won't do that again. I'm staying right here. You're the reason I'm staying. You are the reason I stayed around all these years, Peyton. You don't make people leave. You make people want to fight to stay with you.'  
Tears were rolling down Peyton's cheeks, and it broke her heart hearing him say that. He always knew the right things to say, and that's what she hated so much. She wanted to forgive him, right then and there, with all her heart. But it was too soon. Her wounds had not healed yet.  
Just when she was about to send him away, her phone rang. She picked it up, without looking at the number first.  
Lucas stared at her, but knew there was no point in staying. So he turned around and walked away. But before he could even sit down next to Haley and Nathan and talk to them, Peyton stormed into the room.  
Tears were still coming out of her eyes, but now even more then before.  
'What's wrong?' Nathan asked concerned.  
Peyton looked up from her cellphone, and burst into tears.  
'It's happening again.'


	5. Won't go home without you

'Calm down, Peyton', Nathan said and gave her a glass of water. 'Tell us again what the guy on the phone exactly said.'  
Peyton shook her head. She couldn't tell them what she heard, because she didn't believe it herself. It couldn't be true. The guy on the phone was lying to her.  
'Sweetie, you're gonna have to tell us some time', Haley said and tried to calm her down. 'Whenever you're ready.'  
She looked up to Haley's friendly face, and nodded. 'He - he said that my dad, that he um.. that he had an accident. And they're not sure if he will make it.'  
'How is that possible, I thought he would be ashore by now.'  
'Um, I don't know', Peyton said an wiped away the tears. 'That guy said that there had been an accident with his bus. And that they brought him to the hospital as soon as possible, but his condition is critical.'  
'Where is he now? Where did they take him to the hospital?' Lucas wondered.  
Peyton looked at Lucas. She forgot that he was still here. But that was probably the least of her problems. She had to get to her dad.  
'Charleston.. That's not too far away from here. I will even make it before tomorrow morning.' She stood up and walked away.  
'Alright, I'm coming with you!' Lucas said and followed her. But Peyton stopped and turned around. 'You are not coming with me. I will do this alone if I have to, but you are not coming with.'  
'Peyton, be reasonable! You can't drive there on your own. Not in this situation. I can take you there. Please, let me go with you.'  
'He's right, Peyton', Nathan intervened. 'You can't go alone.'  
'Brooke can come with me', Peyton suggested. She had no time to wait much longer, and she realised that they were right. Someone had to go with her, but not Lucas. Even though she forgave him for something he didn't do, she still didn't want him there. She remembered how it turned out five years ago, and she was not ready for it to happen again.  
'Brooke is not here right now', Haley suddenly said. 'We can call her to get over here, but that will take too long. You have to go now!'  
'Why can't you come with me? Or Nathan?'  
'Because..'  
'Because Haley has to stay here to wait for Brooke, and I have to be somewhere with Jamie. Let Lucas go with you.'  
'But-'  
'Peyton, you really don't have a choice. It's about your father's life. And you need to go right now.'  
'Haley, you don't get it. Lucas can't come with me!' Peyton shouted.  
'I get it, Peyton!' Lucas suddenly yelled. 'I get it! You hate me! But I promise you that it's not worth it. Because when your father dies and you're not there, I know that you won't forgive yourself. So please, put aside this hate you have for me and come with me. I will only take you there and then I will leave you alone. I promise.'  
Peyton looked at him and she reach a point where she was too torn apart inside to fight about it, so she gave Lucas the car keys and followed him to her car.

Lucas and Peyton had been driving for a few hours now and neither of them said something. Lucas because he didn't want to make it worse, and Peyton because she didn't know what to say. But Lucas felt like he had to be the one to start talking, didn't matter what he would say. Everything would be better than this awkward silence.  
'I didn't mean what I said before. About your father dying.'  
Peyton didn't say or do anything, she didn't even move. But Lucas knew she was listening.  
'He's not going to die, Peyton', he said and laughed lightly. 'How could he ever leave you behind. You're too important to him.'  
'I don't hate you, Lucas', she said, out of the blue. Lucas looked at her, and she could tell that he didn't understand her.  
'You said before that you thought that I hated you. I don't. I just learned that it hurts alot less if you don't care.'  
Lucas didn't response, and Peyton laughed nervously. 'But then I realised that that didn't work either, because I can't stop caring.. about you.'  
'Peyton, we don't have to talk about this right now.'  
'I know. But I have to tell you this.'  
Lucas nodded and let her finish.  
'The reason I didn't want you here was because I can't be anywhere near you. It hurts even more than not being with you at all.'  
'Peyt, I-'  
'Because we can't.. We can't be together anymore.'  
How could she tell him that? It was all very confusing. She was sending out all of these mixed signals. First she tells him that she hates him, then she almost tells him that she loves him, and then she tells him that they can't be together anymore, ever.  
Lucas motioned to speak, but saw that she looked away, so that they didn't have to talk about it anymore. That's why he changed the subject.  
'You've gotta get some sleep, Peyton. We still have a long ride ahead of us.'  
Peyton couldn't deny that she was getting really tired. She tried not to think about all the bad stuff that could happen. She closed her eyes and fell asleep on Lucas' shoulder.

Meanwhile Brooke arrived at Haley and Nathan's house, and saw that Haley was already waiting for her.  
'I'm really sorry I couldn't come sooner', she said remorseful. 'I came as soon as I got your message.'  
'It's okay. Peyton's gone anyway.'  
Brooke nodded and followed Haley back inside. 'Have you heard from them already?' she asked.  
'Not yet. But they promised they'd call when they got there.'  
'They?' Brooke asked curious.  
'Lucas went with her. She didn't want it at first, but Lucas persuade her.'  
'Do you really think that was a good idea. She has enough to worry about already with her father, what if she loses her mind because Lucas is there too? Why didn't you go with her?'  
'I thought that it would be best if Lucas went with her', Nathan said. 'Lucas knows what it's like. She went through the exact same thing five years ago, and Lucas was there, too.'  
'And look what happened', Brooke mumbled.  
'What?'  
'Nothing. Look, I just don't think it's smart, that's all. But there is nothing else I can do now but wait, right?'  
Haley nodded, but started to feel guilty. Maybe Brooke was right. Peyton almost begged her to go with her, but she kind of forced her to go with Lucas.  
At that moment the phone rang. It was Lucas.  
'How is she doing?' they heard Nathan ask him.  
_'She's sleeping, for now. I think the pain is exhausting her. I know how it is to lose someone you love, but I can't imagine what she's going through right now. Not knowing how her father is doing. She should be with him, but instead she's stuck with me inside this stupid car.'  
_Nathan sighed and changed the subject. _  
_'How long before you get there?'  
_'Don't know. I'm getting pretty tired, too. But I think Peyton doesn't want me to stop, so I won't.'  
_'She said that?'  
Lucas didn't answer.  
'Luke, you have to pull over before you get into an accident yourself.'  
_'You're right. I'm pulling over right now. I will call you when we get there.' _  
Lucas threw his cellphone at the backseat. He ignored Nathan's advice and drove on.

* * *

It was almost five o'clock in the morning and the rays from the sun woke Peyton up. She yawned and noticed that her head was still resting on Lucas' shoulder. Quickly she removed it. When Lucas saw that he smiled warmly at her. Peyton couldn't help it and smiled back. He still had that same effect on her like he did three years ago. He knew how to cheer her up, even in a situation like this.  
'Luke, you look terrible. Did you get any sleep tonight?'  
He shrugged. 'Naw, but it's okay. We're here, anyways. You can go to your dad, and I'll try to sleep for a little bit.'  
Peyton stepped out of the car and her heart is racing while she looked up at Lucas and said: 'Thank you, for taking me.'  
'No problem. I was glad to do it.'  
Peyton nodded. With every step she took her heart skipped a beat. Everywhere where she looked she saw sick people, and then she started thinking about her dad. It's like Lucas was reading her mind, because he took her hand and stopped her. He looked her deep into her eyes.  
'You won't lose him, Peyton', he promised.  
Her eyes get misty, but she kept telling herself that Lucas was right. She walked up to the desk and asked the nurse where she could find her father. The nurse told her exactly where her father was, and Lucas and Peyton continued to walk.  
Finally they got to her father's room. She was about to open the door when she turned around and bumped up against Lucas.  
'What are you doing?' he asked confused.  
'I can't do this Lucas. I can't lose another important person in my life.'  
She walked away, but Lucas followed her and grabbed her by her arms. He turned her around so she would look directly into his eyes.  
'What makes you so sure that you're going to lose him?'  
Peyton looked at her fathers room, but then straight back at Lucas.  
'People always leave, Luke. I thought you knew that by now.'  
She tried to pull away, but Lucas held her even tighter.  
'And how many times do I have to tell you that not everyone does so. I won't, Brooke, Haley and Nathan won't. And your father will certainly not leave you.' He pulled her into a hug, and kept on holding her tight.  
'I'm scared for what I will find behind that door, Lucas. I already lost my mom in a car accident, and I don't want to lose my father in one, too.'

At that moment a nurse came out of Larry's room, and looked at the both of them.  
'I'm sorry, can I help you?' she asked friendly.  
Peyton looked back at her, but didn't answer the question. Lucas smiled at the nurse. 'Actually, yes. I am Lucas Scott, and this is Peyton Sawyer. Her father is Larry Sawyer.'  
'Oh, I see.' She smiled at Peyton. 'Your father is sleeping right now, but he will wake up any second. You can wait for him to wake up inside his room if you want.'  
Peyton nodded, but waited for the nurse to go away before she walked into the room. She gasped for air when she saw him lying on that bed, and cried. Bruises everywhere, and it looked as if he would never wake up again.  
She sat down on a stool and took his hand. Feeling his daughter touching him, woke Larry up.  
Peyton quickly wiped away her tears and smiled. 'Hey.'  
Larry smiled back at her and squeezed her hand. 'Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry I scared you.'  
Peyton smiled weakly and looked at Lucas, who was standing behind her. Larry didn't notice him until now.  
'Rake boy.'  
Lucas chuckled and shook hands with Larry.  
'Sir. How are you feeling?'  
'Much better now I know that my daughter didn't drive up here alone. Thank you.'  
'It was my pleasure.' He looked down at Peyton and her eyes were begging him to go.  
'Um.. I'm gonna get some sleep if you don't mind.' He smiled again. 'Hang in there, mr Sawyer.'  
'Thank you', Peyton mouthed. Lucas nodded and walked out of the room.

'How are you, sweetheart? I'm sorry about all of this. I know it must be hard seeing me lying in this hospitalbed.'  
'It's okay, dad', she sniffed. 'Don't worry about me.'  
'Peyton, I need you to know that nothing will happen to me. I'll be home before you know it and everything will go back to normal.'  
'And what exactly is normal?' she asked. 'Dad, I don't want you to go sailing again. My heart can't take it anymore.'  
'I won't. From now on I will stay with you in Tree Hill.'  
'Good, because I won't go home without you, you know.'  
'And don't worry, I won't stay in the same house with you forgood.'  
Peyton chuckled. 'I wouldn't mind. You're my father. You took care of me for so long, and it's time that I did something back.'  
Larry stroke her hair and said: 'I am your father, let _me_ take care of _you_ for a little while longer.'  
Peyton smiled. She seemed satisfied with that answer.  
Peyton moved closer to him and hugged him.  
'So what is this with you and Lucas?' Larry asked when they broke apart. 'Are you back together yet?'  
Peyton shook her head and looked away. 'We are.. finding our way back to normal.'  
'Normal?'  
'Friends. Lucas and I are just friends.'  
Larry smiled disbelieving. 'Sweetheart, I saw how you looked at him just now. And it had nothing to do with friendship.'  
'It doesn't matter right now', Peyton - who wanted to change the subject again - cut him off. 'I have you to worry about now.'  
'That is no excuse. Don't let me stand in the way of your happiness.'  
'Daddy-'  
'I will always be here, Peyton. But the love you and that boy shared, is so rare that you might not find it ever again.'  
'But-'  
At that moment Lucas walked in, and he was holding his cellphone.  
'I'm really sorry to interrupt, but Brooke called. She wants to know how the both of you are doing. I told her that you were busy at the moment, but you know Brooke. She won't stop before she talks to you.'  
Peyton smiled at him and took his phone. 'I will talk to her. Will you please stay with my dad?'  
Lucas nodded, and as soon as Peyton was out the door he sat down.  
'I'm glad we finally get the chance to talk, Lucas. There is something I want to ask you.'  
'Sure, anything', Lucas said, who started to get worried.  
Larry took a deep breath and looked right into Lucas' eyes.  
'See, the truth of the matter is, that I am not doing too good', he said serious. 'As a matter of fact, I'm not doing good at all. I got an infection, and the doctors said that it was a tough one. But Peyton can't know, because when she thinks of me, I don't want her to think about all of this. I want her to remember me as her father, and I want her to think about all the good things that happened to us. And I want you to be around to tell her that when I'm gone', he said and coughed.  
'What are you talking about?'  
'Even when she doesn't want to, you have to make sure that she lives her life, and that she moves on.'  
'Larry, you can _not_ die. I promised your daughter that, and I don't want to break another promise.'  
'Then please promise me that you will take care of her.'  
Lucas rubbed his eyes. A million thoughts were racing through his mind. He promised Peyton that everything would be okay, but now her father told him that it wouldn't.  
Eventually he looked up. 'Peyton is going to be devastated. Why won't you just tell her what you've just told me? You can prepare her.'  
'How can a father tell his daughter that he's a dying man? Especially with Peyton. She has lost so much in her life already. Her mom, Ellie, Derek. You can't ask me to do that.' He sighed. 'I usually don't beg, but this is about my babygirl. Please do this one thing for me?'  
'What one thing?' Peyton asked when she walked in.  
Larry was caught by surprise, and couldn't come up with an answer that fast. Peyton looked over at Lucas and waited patiently.  
'Um.. Larry asked me to thank me for bringing you here safely, but I wouldn't let him, but he insisted.'  
Peyton laughed. 'Yeah well, my father can be very convincing.'  
Tell me about it, Lucas thought.  
'Anyway, I told Brooke that we would be home as soon as you got out of the hospital. So that will be like, tomorrow or something.'  
Larry smiled, and he looked at Lucas, who gave him a quick nod.

* * *

Brooke walked into her living room, and was surprised to find Owen there.  
'Did we -?'  
'No, we didn't. But I heard about Peyton's father, and I wanted to check on you.'  
'Have you been waiting for me?' she asked with an eyebrow raised.  
Owen chuckled. 'I just wanted to know how you were doing, and how Peyton and her father were doing.'  
Brooke smiled bright and sat down. 'Peyton said that she was doing fine, and that her father would probably make it.'  
'That's fantastic!'  
'Yeah, it really is', Brooke said.  
'So when are they coming home?' Owen asked.  
'I don't know. Peyton said she had no idea when they would be releasing Larry.'  
'But she was sure that he was going to be fine, right?'  
'Yes.' She looked at him a bit suspicious. 'You know, for a boy who claims to be _my_ boyfriend, you are awfully interested in my best friend.'  
Owen laughed.  
'Why is that?'  
'Well, I just wondered when we would have time for _us _again. I feel like ever since Peyton came back, our lives have been all about her.'  
'I know, and I'm sorry.'  
'Don't get me wrong, I like Peyton, I do. And I love to see how much you care for her and how close you are, but..'  
'..but it's not how you imagined it to be.'  
'Naw.'  
'I'm sorry, babe. I know I neglected you. But I will make it up to you', she said with a naughty undertone, causing Owen to laugh.  
'Really?'  
'Really.' She hopped all over him and started to nibble his earlobe.  
Owen lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom. Soon their clothes were all over the floor.

'Wow, that was amazing', Owen said, still breathing heavily.  
'You know what they say; Third time lucky.'  
He looked at her and was amazed by all the energy she still had left. But before he knew it she was kissing him again. Her hands ran through his hair as he kissed her neck.  
Suddenly Brooke pulled back, leaving Owen confused.  
'I've got it!' she cried out.  
'What?'  
'Okay, you said you wanted to be with me even more then you already are, right?'  
Owen nodded, still confused.  
'And I was thinking-'  
'You can think while doing that? Wow, I must be not very good.'  
Brooke laughed and playfully hit his shoulder. 'I was thinking about it this all week actually', she said with a bright smile. She may have looked psyched on the outside, but she was actually nervous as hell. She never made this huge step before. At least not with a guy.'  
'I was thinking that maybe, you know, if you want to - I'm not saying you have too, it's just a suggestion-'  
'Brooke, what is it?' Owen smiled at her and thought about how cute she looked when she was rambling.  
'Okay', she sighed before continuing. 'I thought that maybe you could move in with me?'  
Carefully she looked at Owen, who still hadn't responded.  
'Wow, you definitely caught me by surprise there.'  
'Oh..'  
'It's a good surprise, though!' he quickly said.  
She turned back to see if he really meant it.  
'Really?'  
Owen nodded. 'Definitely. I would love to move in with you, Brooke', he said and kissed her.

* * *

It had been a few hours, and meanwhile Lucas went back to the hall to give Peyton and Larry some time alone. It still didn't seem right to him that Larry was lying to her, but he understood it. That man lived for his daughter, and even from his death-bed he was making sure that she would be okay.  
He sunk in his thoughts so deep, that he didn't hear Peyton calling him. It was until he saw doctors running into Larry's room, that he heard her.  
'Peyton, what happened?' he asked when he saw the doctors running around. One of them was screaming "Code Blue, Code blue! Cardiac arrest!" An intern grabbed an oxygen mask and put it on Larry. They were ready to go.  
'I don't know', she cried. 'I fell asleep, and suddenly I heard the heart monitor. So I woke up, and when I looked at it.. and it was flat.'  
Lucas pulled her into his arms, like he was protecting her from everything that was happening in that room. When they drove Larry away, she wanted to run after them, but Lucas held her arm so tight that she couldn't go anywhere.  
He walked her back to the room and sat her down. He tried to calm her down, but he knew that there was no point in doing that. He lifted up her chin, so he could look at her. It broke his heart seeing her like that. She was torn apart, and she had cried so much that at a certain point there were no more tears left to cry.  
'A couple of hours ago everything seemed fine', she cried. 'How is this possible?'  
Lucas looked at her. He hated that he had to lie to her again. 'I don't know.'  
'You promised me that nothing would happen to him!' she yelled. 'You promised me, and I was stupid enough to believe you!'  
'Peyton, nothing happened yet. He could still make it!' he said and wondered if he was convincing Peyton or himself.  
'Like my mom, right?'  
'What?' Lucas asked confused.  
'The doctors told me and my dad that my mom would be okay. That they only had to do one surgery and then she could come home with us.' She swallowed and wiped away a tear. 'But she never came home with us. They promised us, and my dad promised me. But they lied to me, all of them.'  
'Peyton, you have to believe me when I say that your father will do everything in his power to come back to you.'  
He pulled her into a hug, and let her cry on his shoulder.

Hours gone by, and when Lucas opened his eyes he saw that Peyton sat up and stared at the clock. It was 6 o'clock in the morning.  
'Is there any news?'  
She shook her head.  
'The doctors came by a few times to make sure that I was okay, and I asked them how he was. But you know how doctors are, they never tell you the truth. They always tell you what they think what makes you feel good.'  
At that moment one of the doctors walked up to them, and Peyton got up real quickly.  
'How is he?' she asked. Her heart was pounding.  
The doctor slowly took off his cap.  
'We did everything we could..'  
Peyton widens her eyes in shock, and tried to run away. From that moment on she didn't know what was happening anymore. Anything happened so fast.  
_'I'm really sorry, ma'am. There was a complication, and we had to operate real fast. We did everything we could.' _  
Lucas ran after Peyton and grabbed her arms. He tried to pull her closer to him, but she was too strong and so he let go off her. She let herself fall on the floor and bursts into tears. 


	6. When you're gone

Brooke cautiously walked up the stairs. It had been a hard, long week for Peyton, but today would be the hardest. Today they buried Larry Sawyer. He was the next missing parent in Tree Hill.  
She gently pushed open the door to Peyton's room. There she was, in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. She was only partially dresssed, and lost in her thoughts. It broke Brooke's heart seeing her best friend like this. It seemed like she hadn't had any sleep last night. Peyton was so vulnerable at the moment. She couldn't take this again, losing another parent.

'Peyton?'  
She didn't react, and kept brushing her hair. Brooke walked over to her and put her hand on Peyton's shoulder.  
'Sweetie, will you please come down with me?'  
'I don't want to', she replied.  
'Why not?' Brooke asked and she kneels down.  
'Because if I go, that will mean that it's really over. That he is really gone. And I'm not sure if I can take that.'  
'I will help you through this, Peyton. We all will.'  
Peyton shook her head. 'When I lost my mom, I was only a child and I didn't understand it yet. When Ellie died, it was horrible, of course, but it was different, because I had only known her for a couple of months.' She looked up for the first time since Brooke came in. 'My father has been there my whole life. He always took care of me, even when he was at sea. I've always had a father. I don't know how to live without one.'  
'Peyton..' Brooke tried to touch her, but she pulled away.  
'It's just not fair!' Peyton cried. 'I've already lost my two moms. What did I do that was so horrible? What makes me deserve it to lose my father, too?'  
'Peyton, look at me!' Brooke lifted up her chin and made Peyton look at her. 'This is not your fault, okay?! And it's not fair, I know that, but..  
'But it happened.' She got up and walked through the room, looking for a tissue. 'He was coming home with me. It would only take a couple more days, and then he promised me that everything would get back to normal.'  
Brooke approached Peyton and pulled her into a hug, as she fought back her own tears. 'I promise you, that-'  
'No! No more promises!' she yelled and pulled away. 'What do promises mean anymore? Lucas promised me that he was not going to die. The doctors promised me that that they would do everything in their power to make him better, even _he_ promised me that everything would be okay. And none of them kept their promise.'  
'They didn't mean to break it.'  
'But that doesn't make it hurt less, does it? He's gone, Brooke. And he's never coming back!'  
Brooke couldn't fight back on that one, it was the truth. She wanted to burst into tears herself, but she knew that it wouldn't do any good to Peyton.

'Maybe this will do you good', Brooke tried, but she knew it was useless. Peyton had been hiding herself in her room this whole week. She wouln't stop crying.  
Brooke wished that they were little kids again, that the only thing she had to do was crawl into bed with Peyton and comfort her, but it wasn't that easy anymore.  
'Good? We just buried my father, and you are talking about like it's a good thing!'  
'That's not what I meant, Peyton. I just - I hate to see you like this. You have been locking yourself in this entire week. You have to face this. And I know it will hurt, but I want to help you.You have to let me.'  
Peyton wanted to reach out and accept her help, but Brooke didn't know how it was to lose her parents. She could only try to understand it, but she could never feel that immense pain that Peyton was feeling right now. Sure, Brooke knew what it was like to live without her parents, but if she wanted to, she could go to California and visit them. Peyton would give anything to have that, too.  
'I'll be downstairs waiting for you, and just come when you're ready, okay?' Brooke pressed a kiss on her forehead and then walked away.  
Peyton knew that Brooke was only trying to help her, and that it wasn't fair to cut her out like this. So she wiped away the tears, got herself dressed and went downstairs.  
Not only was Brooke waiting there for her, but also Haley, Nathan and of course Lucas. She thought about him a lot this week, and how he broke his promise. But she decided to forgive him, because she also knew that he didn't mean to hurt her.

Peyton couldn't stand to see the look on their faces. Their eyes were filled with compassion, and none of them actually knew how it was to feel like this. Except for Lucas. He knew how it was to lose someone important, and that was also one of the reasons she forgave him. And she felt somehow connected to him through this.  
She didn't notice that she was staring at Lucas only until she caught him staring at her. There was something different in his eyes. Not pity, but his own sadness, memories and thoughts.  
'Are you okay?' Haley asked.  
Peyton nodded and walked with Haley and Brooke into the living room. This was it, Peyton thought. After today there was no more Larry Sawyer.  
Haley en Brooke both tried to talk to her, but they couldn't find the right words. So no word was spoken. But Peyton knew what they were trying to say, and took their hands. They were both very surprised by this move. Haley smiled at Peyton and squeezed her hand tighter. Brooke did the same.  
It stayed silent until someone came up to them and started to talk to her.  
'I'm so sorry for your loss, Peyton', the man said. Peyton knew him, he was a good friend of her father.  
'Thank you.'  
'I cannot believe that he is really gone. It seems like just yesterday when I watched him step inside that bus.'  
Peyton sighed and listened to him, even though that was the absolute last thing she wanted. She didn't want the details on how her dad got to his end.  
'Your father was one of my dearest friends. He would do everything for you. Even when you didn't ask him to.' He laughed. 'He could _never _stop talking. And the one thing he loved to talk about most was you.'  
Brooke looked beside her and saw how hard this was on Peyton.  
'You know, we would love to hear more, sir. But we still have a ton of things to do. Sorry.'  
'No, of course. I understand', the man said. 'And once again, I am very sorry for your loss.' And then he walked away.  
'Sorry Peyton.' They walked to the couch. 'Here, let's sit down.'  
Peyton shook her head. 'I can't sit down, Hales. I have to keep myself busy.'  
'Well, what do you want to do?'  
'It doesn't matter. Everything is better than falling apart, isn't it?'  
'Sweetie, your dad died. It is okay to fall apart.'  
Peyton looked away when she heard that. She didn't want to hear it anymore. Her dad died, he was gone, he wouldn't come back, she knew that. They didn't have to tell her over and over again.  
Suddenly Lucas walked up to them, and Brooke and Haley decided to leave them alone.  
'May I?' He asked and looked at the couch.  
'Sure.. It's a free country.'  
'Peyton, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I know I promised you that everything would be okay, and I broke my promise.'  
He tried to look at her, but she kept turning away. Maybe it was because she was crying, and she didn't want him to see it. Maybe she didn't want him to see how vulnerable she was. But she didn't have to do that. He knew how hard it was to lose someone. He thought back to the day of Keith's funeral. People tried to comfort him, and he fought back for all the wrong reasons. He didn't want to talk to anyone back then, and he knew that Peyton was going through the exact same thing now. So instead he just sat there, with Peyton beside him. If only she would let him in, let him help.  
All of the sudden she got up. 'I have to go thank everybody for coming.'  
She stepped to the centre of the room and started talking. She was already fighting back her tears again, but she wanted to get everyone out of there. And she hoped by thanking everyone, they would understand that.

'I want to thank you all for being here. I know my father would have appreciated it.' She swallowed and inhaled. 'Um.. After my mom died, it was pretty hard on my dad. Because now he had to take care of me on his own. But he did better than you could ever imagine. And yes, he was at sea a lot. But he was always looking out for me, even when I didn't want him to. He loved being at sea.' She paused and looked around. 'I never imagined that when I spoke to him last week, it would be the last time..' When she saw everyone staring at her, she couldn't take it anymore and started to cry.  
Brooke and Lucas came to her, and Brooke got her out of there. But still everyone was staring at the centre of the room. Lucas sighed and started to talk.  
'Hi.. Most of you know me probably , but for the ones that don't; my name is Lucas Scott. I'm a - a friend of Peyton.' He caught a glimpse of Peyton looking at him and she smiled thankful.  
'I was lucky enough to get to know Larry Sawyer. I think it's almost five years ago now.' He smiled. 'It's actually pretty funny how we met. See, when I met him I didn't know him, obviously. In fact, I thought he was a thief. I almost him him with a rake, and from then on he kept calling me rakeboy.' Some of the people laughed. Lucas continued.  
'Like Peyton said, he was at sea a lot, so I don't really know him that good. But Peyton told me great stories about him, and I know that she was proud to be his daughter. The one thing I do know about Larry is, that he was an amazing man. And from what I could see, he loved life. But there was one thing he loved more. His daughter Peyton. Everyone who knew him, knew that he would give anything for her. I promised him I would take good care of her. And Peyton is very strong, but that doesn't take away the fact that this has all been a lot to take. So I will look after Peyton, because I owe to him.'  
With those words he walked away. He tried to find Peyton, but he could only find Brooke.  
'Where is she?' he asked.  
'I don't know.'  
'Don't do this, Brooke. Tell me where she is.'  
'I honestly don't know. She asked me to leave her alone for a few minutes, but when I wanted to check on her, she was nowhere to be found.'  
'You left her alone?! Brooke, you can't do that!' he said fierce. 'Who knows what she might do to herself!'  
'I didn't want to, but she begged. And I thought that she would just go up to her room and lay down for a minute. I'm sorry.'  
Lucas groaned.  
'I'm sorry!'  
'It's okay, Brooke. I will find her.'

Lucas got into his car and drove around Tree Hill. He tried not to think about all the bad things that could happen. Instead he tried to think of a place that she might go to, but he couldn't come up with anything. He tried everything. From the the graveyard were they buried Larry a few hours ago to Brooke's house. Then he drove to her old house, hoping to find her there. Peyton once told him how much that house meant to her, and how it always made her feel better.  
When he got there he found Peyton sitting on the steps in front of her house, she was holding a bottle of liquor. Lucas slowly walked up to her. When she saw him coming close she only looked up and sighed. 'I wanted to go to my room', she cried.  
'I figured.'  
'But I couldn't get in, because they changed the locks', she said and took a sip from the bottle.  
Lucas sighed and sat down next to her. 'Peyton, this is not the way to do it.'  
'Do what?'  
'Grieve. Alcohol is not the way to do it.'  
'Everybody grieves differently. This is my way.'  
He took the bottle out of her hands and threw it away.  
'Damn it, Peyton! What are you doing?! This is wrong and you know it!' He felt guilty for screaming at her, because she was already going through a lot. But this was the only way to get her to see that she was not alone in this.  
'Larry wouldn't want you to do this. Don't-'  
'Why not? What difference does it make? What difference does anything make anymore?'  
'I know you are angry, Peyton! And I know that you are scared. Because I've been there, I know how it feels. But you have to stop fighting this, Peyton. Accept it.'  
'Accept that I lost everything today? How, Luke?'  
'By letting the people around you help. Brooke, Haley.. me.'  
She shook her head and rolled her eyes.  
'Peyton, I-'  
'Don't. Okay? I don't want your pity. I don't want, and I certainly don't need it.'  
She got up and walked away.  
'I am here for you. I won't leave. Not this time.'  
'I can do this on my own, Lucas.'

She walked all the way back to Haley's house. Her conversation with Lucas got her thinking. She had to stop cutting out Brooke and Haley. They only wanted to help her. And instead of accepting their help, she closed herself off.  
When she opened the door, Haley ran up to her.  
'Where have you been? Everybody has been worrying sick about you.'  
'I'm sorry. I just needed to get away from here. Away from all the people who acted like they cared.'  
'Peyton, we care', Brooke suddenly said.  
'I know you do. And I know that I have to let you help me get through this.' A single tear rolled off her cheek. 'I'm scared.. I always had my father to tell me what to do. And now that he's gone, I don't know what to do anymore.'  
'We are here', Haley said and pulled her into a hug, ignoring the smell of alcohol that was surrounding her. '  
'Where is Lucas?' Haley asked when they broke apart. 'He told Brooke that he was going to look for you.'  
'He didn't', Peyton simply said.  
'Well, then maybe we should call him to let him know that you are alright.'  
'No! I mean, I will call him. Just give me some time to recover, okay?'  
'Yeah, of course. Sorry. We just want to look out for you.'  
'And I love you for doing so. It means a lot to me.'  
She looked around and saw that everyone was gone, and it was a mess around the house. Haley noticed it and chuckled. 'I um.. I always do that when I get nervous.'  
Peyton smiled.  
'So where's Nathan?'  
'He thought that it would be best if he was somewhere else when you came home. He took Jamie to eat ice creams.'  
Peyton smiled again. That boy sure did love ice creams.  
'I'm gonna call Lucas, okay?' She said and yawned.  
Brooke smiled.  
'You can also go to bed. It has been a really long day. We will take care of this mess.'  
Peyton nodded thankful and went upstairs. She pretended to call Lucas, and then she let herself fall on her bed.

A thousand things were running through her mind. Things she still wanted to do or ask Larry. Why she didn't think of those things when he was alive, she didn't know. She wanted to ask him how he was like when he was seventeen, or what he was thinking when he met Anna. She wanted to know what they used to eat for dinner with her grandparents. Stuff like that. It seemed silly, but those were the things that were keeping her awake. But when he was here, she just wanted to be with him. Because before she'd know it, he would be leaving again for three months. She didn't think about all these questions. Well, yeah.. maybe she did. But asking him about all that would be a huge waste of their time together. Or for some reason, it would be weirdly impersonal. Like none of that would be as important as their time time together, as father and daughter. And now he's gone and it was like they were washing over her like a dam is broken.  
Then the pain came back. That horrible stinging pain in her chest, in her heart. It wouldn't go away. She thought she forgot it for a minute, because Brooke and Haley tried to keep her busy. But she never forgot. She could never forget. How was she supposed to just go on when she lost her father, her rock. She knew that eventually everything would be alright, but right now.. She couldn't stop the feeling that someone is gone.. who was just here!  
And as much as Brooke and Haley tried to help her, it didn't work. They still didn't really understand it, and how could they? She was certainly not being open about it. But she felt like she couldn't talk about this with anyone.  
But then Lucas popped back into her mind. He wanted to help her, she wanted him to help him. Because he knew how it would be, and his emotions would be real. Not that Brooke and Haley were faking it, but.. it was different. Lucas had been there, Lucas had felt those feelings she was feeling right now. And back then she was the only one who was allowed to help him. He was still dating Brooke, but he cut her out for the same reason. She didn't understand it. And he let Peyton help him get through it, and it helped him. So maybe she had to give him a chance, too.  
She got out of bed, and looked what time it was. Seven o'clock. Only a thirty minutes had passed. She got downstairs, and quickly got outside. Brooke and Haley were still busy cleaning up. She was glad that they didn't see her, but she also felt guilty. They would be worried about her, again. But this time she knew what she was doing. It felt good. Better yet, it felt right. And this time, it was allowed to feel right. She got into her car, and drove to Lucas' place. Even though she wanted to get there as soon as possible, it took her almost half an hour. When she walked upto the door to his room, she got nervous. About letting him in again. But she went over this a million times this night, and it was the right thing to do. She knocked on the door, and she kept herself from crying. But then Lucas opened the door, and he looked at her the way he always did. He really saw her. That's when she started to cry again.  
Lucas tried to talk, but Peyton beat him to it.  
'I was wrong, Lucas. I thought I didn't want your help, but the truth is that I was afraid. Because you knew exactly how to help me, and that scared me. I thought that when you helped me get through this, I was going to forget about my dad. And I don't want to Lucas.' She sighed. 'I don't feel like I know how to make it on my own anymore.'  
She looked up, and Lucas was still staring at her. But no longer confused, he looked worried but relieved at the same time.  
'I can't do this all alone, Lucas.'  
'Oh, Peyton..'  
Those were the words he had been waiting for all day. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her. And for the first time in a long time, she let him.

**Okay, so I know that you haven't seen much happy Leyton. But I promise you that after this chapter they will be.  
I also want to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story.**

xoxo PSawyer2514


	7. Always Love

Peyton woke up with the touch of Lucas' arms around her, just like every other day over the past week. She looked up and found him staring at her.  
'Hi sleepy', he said and pressed a kiss on her forehead.  
'Hey. How long have you been awake?'  
'Not long. I couldn't stop looking at you.'  
'Really?' She smiled.  
Lucas nodded. 'I'm glad that smile is back on your face, Peyt.'  
'And you know that you're the one that put it there? It took me a while to understand it, but you are the best thing that happened in my life, Lucas. And I won't lose you again.'  
'I hope not, because I'm planning on staying with you my whole life.'  
He leaned in and kissed her.  
'So what do you want to do today?' Lucas asked. 'I don't think you want to stay here, in my bed all day.'  
'Well, actually..'  
They both laughed.  
'No, I acutally wanted to go to my mom and dad.'  
Lucas looked up.  
'Are you sure?'  
'Yeah, I've been avoiding it this week, but I think it's time I go there. And I also wanted to go to Haley and thank her for everything she's done for me, and also thank Brooke, and I still have to find a place of my own.'  
'Wow, looks like you have a lot to do. But wait- This is maybe strange or maybe I'm moving a little bit to fast, but.. You say you are still searching for a place of your own, but why can't you just move in with me?'  
Peyton was clearly shocked.  
'I mean, you practically lived with me this week, and that is going pretty good, dont you think?'  
Peyton nodded, still shocked.  
'You don't have to, if you don't want to. But it will save you a lot of money.'  
'Is that the only reason you asked me?' Peyton teased.  
'No, I just.. I want you to move in with me, because I love you.'  
Peyton sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'Well, in that case, I'd love to.'  
She smiled at him and then they kissed.

Next thing she was knocking on Haley's door. She moved her body closer to Lucas' and squeezed his hand.  
Haley opened the door, obviously surprised to see them standing there.  
'Hey, what are you doing here? Picking up your stuff?'  
Peyton and Lucas stepped in.  
'Sort of. But-' She stops when she sees Brooke sitting on the couch.  
'Hey, Brooke. What are you doing here?'  
'Well, my boyfriend decided to go camping with his friends, god knows where, and he left me alone. And you know I don't do well at being alone.'  
Lucas chuckled.  
'But my question was', Haley continued, 'what are you doing here?' she asked and looked directly at Peyton.  
'I have great news. I am moving in with Lucas.'  
Brooke jumped up and started screaming.  
'Yay, finally!' She pulled both of them into a hug. Haley was next to congratulate them.  
'So I was right', Haley said when they broke apart, 'you are picking up your stuff.'  
Peyton nodded and plopped herself down on the couch. 'But I also wanted to thank you. Both of you.'  
'Why?'  
'Because! Because you were both there for me when I needed you the most. And even though it was not easy being around me, you wouldn't let me go through this alone.'  
'Peyton, you don't have to thank us for that', Brooke responded. 'You are our best friend, and that's what friends are for.'  
'Maybe so, but I know I didn't exactly made it easy for you.' She sighed. 'Anyways, I don't only want to thank you for being there for me when my dad died, but Haley.. I also am so thankful that you offered me a place to live. And not only that, you offered me a home.'  
Haley smiled.  
'And Brooke..' Peyton smiled at her. 'Thank you for finding the time to worry about me, and take care of me, and helping me to figure things out with myself.. and Lucas. I know you are busy with Owen right now, too. So, thank you.'  
'Okay, you really have to stop now before you make me cry!' Brooke laughed.  
Peyton chuckled and hugged them again.

They all went upstairs and helped Peyton pack her stuff.  
'It's so weird that you won't be around here anymore', Haley suddenly said. 'I kind of got used to you being here.'  
'Hey, it's not like I'm moving to the other end of the word, you know. I'm just moving in with Lucas.'  
Brooke looked up after hearing her say that. 'We finally did it.'  
Everybody turned to her.  
'Did what, Brooke?' Lucas asked.  
'We're growing up. Haley with Nathan and Jamie. They're like a perfect little family. And now you and Peyton, the way it's supposed to be.'  
'And you and Owen', Peyton said.  
'Yeah. I never thought we would make it to this, but we did. It's scary, though.'  
'But it's not like this is going to change everything, right?' Haley asked. 'We will still be friends. We'll still do stuff together.'  
'Yeah, of course. Especially after all that we went through together, I don't ever want to lose you guys.'  
Lucas laughed. 'Hey, you are acting like we just graduated high school or something. No one is going anywhere.'  
The three girls laughed it off and continued packing.  
After they were done, Lucas and Peyton were ready to go. But just when they stepped outside, Peyton remembered that she still wanted to thank Nathan.  
'Don't worry, Peyt. Before we go to your mom and dad, I will find Nathan and thank him. I still have to talk to him anyways.'  
'Are you sure?' Peyton asked.  
'Positive.' He leaned forward to kiss her.  
'You know, we waited way too long', Peyton said.  
'For what?'  
'Getting back together.'  
A big grin appeared on Lucas' face. 'I tried to tell you that, but you wouldn't hear it.'  
'I know. I was wrong and... you were right.'  
Lucas pulled her closer. 'What did you say?'  
Peyton smiled. 'Yes, I admit it. You were right.'  
'And that makes you..'  
'Okay, don't push it, mister!'  
They both laughed and walked on.

* * *

Peyton was still at home, unpacking her stuff. Lucas offered to help, but she wanted him to go to Nathan. So that's what he did.  
He figured that Nathan and Jamie were at the Rivercourt, so that's where he went.

'Hey man. What brings you here?' Nathan asked when his brother walked up to them.  
'Peyton.'  
Nathan was confused. 'Is there something wrong?'  
'No, no! Not at all. She just wanted to thank you for everything you did for us.'  
Nathan smirked.  
'Yeah, who thought I would be so good at helping you. I'm like God. I'm good at everything.'  
Lucas rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, yeah.'  
Nathan laughed.  
'But really, we both wanted to thank you. Peyton told me what you did for her, and I'm glad that she had someone she could talk to. And of course you talked some sense into me when I was acting like an idiot.'  
'Yeah, you really needed it.'  
'That doesn't mean I liked it at the time.. but I'm glad you did it. You acted like the big brother for once.'  
'Thank you, man. I appreciate that.' He looked at the ball. 'You wanna play?'  
Lucas shook his head. 'No, Peyton and I are going somewhere. But next time, I will definitely beat your sorry ass!'  
He laughed and walked back to his car.

'Are you sure you're up for this?' Lucas asked as they walk over the cemetary and end up at Anna and Larry Sawyer's grave.  
Peyton nodded.  
'Okay.' He kissed her on her forehead.  
Peyton kneeled down. 'Hi mom, dad. I know it's been a while since I've been here. But it has been hard for me to face up to the truth. Anyway, I've done what you told me to do, dad. I followed my heart, and like you said; it led me to Lucas. Again.' She looked up at Lucas, who is smiling at her.  
'And you were right, it feels great. Lucas is the best thing that ever happened in my life. And did I tell you I'm moving in with him today?' she said excited. Then the look on her face changed.  
'I don't know if I ever told you this, but I'm really proud to be your daughter. And I don't care what some stupid piece of paper says, because you are my real parents.'  
She layed the flowers she was holding on her fathers grave and stood up.  
'Thank you for coming with me, Lucas.'  
'I was glad to be here for you. And besides, you don't have to thank me. I think you did that enough for today.'  
Peyton nodded and Lucas leaned in to kiss her.  
'And about what you said to your parents about me.. I feel the same way. You are and you will always be the most important thing in my life. I love you, Peyton Sawyer.'  
'I love you, Lucas Scott.'  
She kisses him again, and they forgets about everything that happened for the last couple of weeks. Because none of that matters. They're back together again, and nothing will come ever between them anymore.

_fin_

** I know this chapter was really short, and it wasn't a good chapter, but I didn't have much time to write it. That is also the reason why this was the last chapter. I am leaving tomorrow, for three weeks or so. And I won't be able to write anymore.  
But I really want to say thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing my story! **

**xoxo PSawyer2514  
But I really want to thank everyone that has been reading the story**

* * *


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